The heart of the matter
by BashfullyBeautiful92
Summary: “Our dear old Freddie” My spinning stopped abruptly and I caught a glimpse of a picture stuck on to my mirror, my favorite picture actually. It was of me, Freddie and Laila, our four year old daughter, at the beach last year. oneshot


**Disclaimer: **I know the answer, you know the answer, don't make me say it!

**An: **Just an Idea that popped into my head when listen to my when listen to heart of the matter , but was inspired by a whole playlist lol

**Btw**: they are around 21 during this, So they were about 18 when it all started. 

**P.S**.: Please review Please! 

I opened my eyes weakly, flinging my arms aimlessly around in mid-air and banging my wrist of the dressing table beside me, trying to shut-up the source that was making the high pitched, squeaking, noise. As my hand slammed down on what I presumed the alarm clock, I felt it vibrate a couple of times._ This better not wake up Laila or so help me God._

I lift it up, realising it was my mobile phone and it had been Katy Perry blasting through it. _Whoops_.

I blinked my eyes a couple of times encouraging them to focus on the name flashing on the little window on my phone. _Carly!_

"Carly!" I growled into the receiver "This better be good, I only got Laila settled, _I_ only got settled!" I glanced at the digital radio beside me, 12:15 flashed, in bright bold figures. I snapped my head over to the window shielding my eyes as the sun seeped through the laced blinds. _Maybe I had been sleeping slightly longer!_

"Well good morning Selfish Sammy!" Carly giggled happily through the phone

"Sorry, Carly I didn't mean to take it out on you!" I sighed getting out of my bed and leaning up against the wall "Laila hasn't been sleeping for me lately and she refuses to spend the weekends with Freddie" I continued

"Ahh rebellious at only four, I could do a story on it for the New York Times" Carly teased "I can see it now _**"The essential guide to dealing with four year olds with the rebellious streak of a fourteen year old!"**_

"God, Carly" I groaned into the receiver "I just hope this means I don't have to deal with a mini me when she's fourteen," carly let out a small giggle before she went on.

"Well, I rang you with a little bit of gossip" She gasped into the receiver.

"Carly, My dear old friend, Do you ever ring me when with out gossip?" I asked in my best English accent, pushing my self of the wall and walking forward to sit in my computer chair by my desk.

"Of course not darling" she replied in the same accent as me. "Guess who is getting married?"

"Who" I gasped twisting my self in my chair, feeling a serge of giddiness pump through my body.

"Our dear old Freddie" My spinning stopped abruptly and I caught a glimpse of a picture stuck on to my mirror, my favourite picture actually. It was of me, Freddie and Laila, our four year old daughter, at the beach last year.

"I take from your silence that you were not expecting that" Carly said with concern into the phone.

"No, No, I was expecting it, Just not this soon" I sighed slightly "I guess it had to happen sooner or later right?" I asked hesitantly into the receiver, practically begging for reassurance of Carly as I played with my engagement ring...Well my ex engagement ring..._ does that even exists? _ I know its been two years since me and Freddie broke up, we didn't even get married, but I cant bring my self not to wear my ring...dorky_ or what?  
_

"Right!" she exclaimed through the receiver, as she said that I hear faint shuffling from the next room and then a teary eyed Laila appeared at my door.

"Carly I'll call you later, the little devils up now" I said smiling over at Laila. After we exchanged good byes and I hung up I spread open my arms giving Laila a welcoming smile.

She runs towards me as fast as her little chubby legs will let her. I grab her and wrap her up in my arms and cuddle her on my knee.

"Hey, now" I say kissing the top of her curly brown hair "Why the tears?"

"I miss Daddy" She sniffled rubbing her cheeks vigorously wiping away any sign she was crying..._takes after her momma in that department._ That's when I noticed, under her arm...and secure grip...was professor floppsey. It was her stuffed bunny rabbit, dressed in a graduation cap and black thick rimmed glasses. Freddie had bought it for her when she was two for her birthday, but she hadn't wanted to sleep with it for weeks.

"So do I" I said grabbing Professor Floppsey _It really was the dorkiest thing I have ever seen but Laila loves it and I love her! _ Putting on a funny voice and using my index finger to bob his head up and down, making it look like it was the stuffed animal talking.

"Momma" she laughed "Only Daddy can make Professor Floppsey talk properly" She managed to say all of this to me with her pacifier still stuck in her mouth.

There is nothing as cute as when your daughter looks up at you, her blue eyes twinkling in amusement, and smiling at you with her pacifier at the side of her mouth.

"Your Right" I laughed tickling her causing her to giggle and wriggle in my arms "Do you want to go see Daddy today?" I whispered

She nodded her head enthusiastically; I laughed at this lifting her up and heading towards her bedroom "Lets get you dressed then Baby"

_333_

_"So close yet so far away"_

The music flittered out of the speakers and through Carly's car.

"Hey I haven't heard this song since I was 16" I said letting a giggle escape my lips "I used to be told I looked like her" I stated absentmindedly, I wasn't really listen to the music, I was to busy thinking of what I was going to say to Freddie when I seen him.

"What? Her?" Carly asked pointing to the radio as we pulled up at a red light. I looked at her in frustration.

"No not the radio, It's not a female" I snapped at her. Poor little Carly got the brunt of it every time but she never let it get to her , She was always her understanding little self and I loved her for it.

"Meant the singer" Smiled Carly

I nodded my head in agreement, turning my head back to the window. It was only a silence filler _God why do people take every thing so serious now-a-days?_

"No you don't" She blurted out; I squinted at her, shaking my head in amusement before jabbing the button on the radio to find the next station. Gwen Stefani blasted through the car as I rolled my eyes amused at Carly's out burst.

"If I was a rich girl na-na-na-na-na" Carly and I hummed along as we waited for the colour of the traffic light to change.

"You know, you look like Gwen staban...setfl...ster... the girl singing!" Laila said to carly, sighing in frustration and popping up behind me.

Carly pushed her sunglasses further up the Bridge of her nose, pulling her mouth into a pout..._which personally I felt made her look like a fish _and moved forward with the rest of the traffic.

I squinted my eyes once again, this time in frustration and moved my glance from carly, to Laila, to the radio and back to Carly.

"And I don't look like Jennette Mc Curdy?" I asked, throwing my hands up in frustration. Carly shook her head in amusement at me.

"Nope" said Laila, making a slight popping noise with her mouth.

"Laila Benson, have you your seat belt on?" I asked trying to hold back my giggles; I_ never was good at reprimanding her_

_. _

"Samantha Benson!" she scolded back, leaning back in her chair crossing her arms. My gaze automatically went to my engagement ring _I wish I was Samantha Benson. But I'm not! _

_333_

After what seemed like hours Carly rounded the corner to Freddie's house. _It should have been our house._

"Thanks for the lift Carly," I smiled at her as I help Laila out of the car.

"No problem, I can wait if you want" Carly replied eagerly.

I glanced up at the house then back at carly, "Okay, Just give me two minutes, I need to talk to Freddie," Carly smiled and nodded in reply before blasting the radio again.

333

I helped Laila readjust her Dora the explorer backpack on her shoulders before taking her hand and climbing the steps to Freddie's.

We had had our eye on this place for ages but never seemed to be able to afford it.

Laila jumped impatiently from foot to foot as we waited for Freddie to answer the door. _God she's so like me it's Scary!_

I was snapped out of my daydream when the door swung open to reveal an ecstatic looking Freddie.

"Daddy!" Squealed Laila running towards her, now bent down father's outstretched arms.

Freddie wrapped his arms around Laila lifting her of her feet, squeezing his eyes shut and swaying her from side to side.

"I've missed you so much Baby" he breathed shakily. _I swear if the dork cries I may just have to puke._

He readjusted Laila's position so she was attached to his side, and stepped away from the door way to let me in.

"Yeah, Yeah Daddy I missed you too, but enough of the love fest, Dora the Explorer's on!" she stated causing me and Freddie to burst into fits of giggles.

"Oh well you'd better hurry" Gasped Freddie mockingly Setting her down on the marble floor. "You know how to work the TV don't you?" Freddie asked as she turned in the direction of the Living area.

"Em, I'll work that bit out when I get to it, Momma's not going to miss her Dora!" Her tiny voice called running in the direction of Dora and her adventures.

"No running on the marble floor, you could Fall, honey" Me and Freddie both called after her. We glanced at each other before bursting into laughter.

"Oh my God, I sound like my mother!" I said through fits of laughter.

"No, Sam you sound like _my _mother" Freddie Joked. My mouth fell agape in mock shock. I laughed slightly, giving him a light shove.

"Come here Sam" He smiled warmly, taken out his hands, which had been stuffed in his pocket. I swung my body from side to side before wrapping my arms around his waist and tugging him close to me, resting my head on his chest. He wrapped his arms around the small of my back and kissed the top of my head, before resting his chin there and swinging me from side to side.

333

"Kinder garden teacher now, I hear" Freddie says, passing me a mug of coffee before sitting opposite me at the dinning table, as I slipped of my pale blue, knee length coat.

"Finger Painting and Macaroni cheese art" I said smiling as I took a sip of my coffee before looking back up at him "It's an easy ride!" I stated waving my mug less hand flippantly. Freddie laughed nodding his head in agreement.

"How's you're recoding label going?" I asked talking another sip of coffee wondering if I should inform him that Carl was waiting for me out in the car.

"Oh, good," he shrugged looking into his mug of coffee "I mean, of course it's difficult but what is easy at the start?" He asked tilting his head up and looking at me with a questioning gaze..._Living with out you certainly wasn't...and still isn't_

"Yeah," I nodded in agreement, playing with the handle of my mug "I mean it was really difficult learning how to present the perfect finger painting work of art with out the smudges" I said keeping a straight face as Freddie bust his sides laughing, "It was quite traumatic, I had to seek the help of Spencer!" I finished and started giggling.

We continued to sip our coffee in silence before Freddie slipped his hand into my left hand suddenly. A small smile played on his lips as he traced the engagement ring he had given me three years ago.

"You're still wearing my ring" he whispered in contentment. I glanced down at the table smiling sheepishly and nodding my head meekly as he referred his gaze from the ring to my face.

"I love it, I can't bare to take it of" I whispered, when I glanced back up at him his contented facial expression was replaced with a disoriented one, it looked like he was having an internal battle...and I decided to help him out.

"Carly already told me Freddie" I said in a whisper, forcing my lips to curve up into a gentle smile, "and..." I stuttered before clearing my throat hoping my voice would project more. "And, I'm really happy for you" I finished, looking him dead in the eye, as a genuine smile curved my lips because, well I really was happy for him.

"Thanks" he smiled at me. And for the first time in the two years me and Freddie had split up I could see he was really truly happy...Maybe even before we got together. So if he's really happy I should just leave it right? _Wrong!_

"Freddie" I sighed, pulling away my hand and looking down as I fiddled with my engagement ring once again.

"Sam, please don't do this" he groaned as he leaned back in his chair, letting his head fall back and glared up at the ceiling. "Just don't"

"But I..." I stuttered trying to keep my composure. He covered his face with his hands and straightening himself back up, leaning his elbows on the table.

"Why now Sam?" he asked pulling his face away from his hands and looking at me with furrowed eyebrows. "Do you know how long it took me to get over you...I mean I'm finally getting over you and this is when you're going to finally admit you love me? Sam I've been waiting for a year and a half for you to realise it, I've come to terms with the fact we are not right for each other, now it's your turn." He stated, letting a heavy sigh escape his lips as he rubbed his face with his hands.

"Wait" I said feeling anger boil up in my body "How can you be so sure that's what I was going to say to you, huh?" I asked getting really mad now.

"Sam, I've known you since you were thirteen, I can tell what you're going to say or do just through the pitch and tonality of your sigh" He stated leaving me speechless. "Sam, do you understand why I'm being so harsh?" he asked tilting his head trying to make eye contact with me but I ducked my head trying to avoid it. "Sam you just left me, two days before the wedding, taking my daughter with you, with out even an explanation, not even a letter, a text, nothing. Even when you came back two months later, you still didn't have anything to say for yourself, do you know how hard those two months were like with out both of you? Do you know how hard these two weeks have been for me with out Laila?" he questioned

"Freddie?" I growled "That was not my fault, I begged Laila to come last week and the week before, ask Carly, Spencer, My mum, _you're_ mum!" I cried

"My mum?" He asked softly

"Yes, Freddie, you're mum, Laila stayed with her last week, you're mum tried to get her to come here but she didn't want to, not my brainwashing, it was her own choice!" I cried out. "I would never take her away from you or use her as a bargaining tool; you know that as much as I do!" I finished "My mum and dad did that too me."

I look of guilt washed over his face which soon turned to hurt "she didn't want to come?" he mumbled biting his lip anxiously looking down at the table.

"Freddie, it wasn't that she didn't want to come to see you," I said reaching over and tracing patterns on his hand which was facing palm up. "She told me this morning, she didn't like having two homes" I whispered. A look of realisation spread across his face. "This is exactly what I was trying to avoid, getting Laila hurt" I mumbled to myself.

"Freddie, I never stopped loving you, It was never you're fault," I sighed pulling my hand back and placing it on my lap. "It's no secret that we fight Freddie, I didn't want Laila growing up in the same type of environment that I did, that's why I left! I thought you knew that?" I whispered looking back up at Freddie.

He leaned back looking up at me in shock, shaking his head in disbelieve.

"Look Freddie, I have to go, Carly's waiting for me in the car." I said getting up and putting on my coat "I guess you're right we don't belong together Freddie, in the mist of all the wedding planning and parenting, I lost me and you lost you" I shrugged turning and walking towards the door.

"I've been trying to live with out you Freddie, but I miss you some times" I stated with my back towards him before walking through the door way.

"Like when?" He called after me softly as I was half way out the door. I turned around leaning against the doorframe.

"Last week when she made her first ever chocolate cake and made a mess in the kitchen, granted we did get into a food fight" I smiled, Freddie rolled his eyes laughing as he leaned closer to me eager to hear more. "Or when she woke up in the middle of the night screaming because she thought she seen the bogie man, and she informed me that it was ridiculous to think that I could chase away the bogie man as only her big strong daddy can!" I stated before adding "of course I tried to correct her on the big strong thing but she wasn't having any of it" I laughed luckily so did he "Or this morning, when she came running into me because she missed her daddy, and that professor Floppsey couldn't talk if daddy wasn't there" I finished rubbing my lips together in an attempt to stop myself from crying.

"Freddie, this past month I've been thinking about my future a lot," I started as my lip quivered "and in very situation you're in it!" I said turning around pleading he would let me go before I started to cry_, I didn't want Laila to see me that would be unfair on her_

I was half way down the hall before he came running after me.

"What do you mean?" he asked me gripping my arms and searching my eyes desperately for an answer.

"When I get married" I started taking a deep breath "it's you at the end of the aisle waiting for me." I looked down playing with the end of his T-shirt. "When I think about having another baby, it's you I see holding my hand in the delivery room" I could see a small smile appear on Freddie's face, and I got the tiniest glimmer of hope. "When I see moving in to a family home" I continued shakily "It's this house _we_ move into" I couldn't go on any more because the tears were thick in my throat.

Freddie pushed his forehead gently against mine, closing his eyes as he slowly inched his mouth towards mine. My breath hitched at the back of my throat as his lips collided. His lips started to move painfully slowly against mine. I brought my hands up to rest gently at each side, hesitantly our mouths opened and our tongues meet slowly in the middle and intertwined gracefully with each other.

The Kiss was innocent and hesitant but it didn't lack passion. There was no fighting for dominance like there usually is; I had decided to give up that battle this time. _It was amazing._

All too soon and quite abruptly, Freddie pulled back. And instead of sporting the big goofy grin we both new he wanted to, a look of guilt spread across his face as he ran his hands through his hair in frustration.

"You're fiancé" I whispered glancing down at the floor as I started to straighten my coat and hair.

"Sam, I'm sorry..." Freddie started as he walked towards me.

"Hey don't be sorry Freddie," I said wiping away a stray tear with my left hand causing my ring to glint in the light "it stated with a perfect Kiss, and now it ended with one" I said as I notice him eye my engagement ring. I turned and walked two feet in front of me before he called me back. My heart leaped with hope.

"Yes" I said breathily turning to face him.

"The ring" he mumbled pointing towards my left hand

"What, you know how much I love this ring" I hiccupped jumpily "It's the only thing I have left of..." I started stopping abruptly. _How could I be so selfish, I have Laila _

"I'm sorry, it's just it's my mothers, and it was my Grandmothers before that I..." He rambled before I interrupted him.

"It's okay, don't worry about it," I said trying to sound convincing "It belongs to..." I said at a loss unaware of what his fiancé's name was.

"Becky" he replied having the grace to blush.

"B-B-B-Becky?" I stammered as I tried to reluctantly pull the ring of my finger, it wasn't budging, "As in Rebecca, Laila's nanny?" I asked shocked. He nodded his head meekly as he rubbed the back of his neck.

"Congratulations, she is one of the nicest girls I know, bar Carly" I stated slipping of my ring and handing it over to Freddie. And it's the truth she really is.

"Sam don't cry" Freddie mumbled "I hate it when you cry please don't"

"I'm not crying Freddie these are happy tears" I forced a laugh "I'm happy for you" I said backing away.

"Laila, come give you're mummy a hug before she leaves" called Freddie, I shook my head vigorously at him, I didn't want her to see me like this.

But she came running out to me wrapping her arms around my legs. It was enough to stop me from crying, I let out a small giggle as I bent down and wrapped her up in my arms placing her on my hip.

"Love you honey" I sang at her

"Love you momma" She sang back

"Now you be a good girl for you're daddy you hear, "I said as I bent down and set her on the floor and crouched down to her level. She nodded her head eagerly smiling sweetly over at Freddie, who grinned back at her lifting her up.

"Give me a kiss before I go" I said leaning foreword as she placed her lips on my cheek.

"Daddy your turn!" Laila smiled. I opened my mouth to object for him before he placed a soft kiss on my lips.

"Goodbye Sam" he whispered, I smiled back before leaving through the front door, as I glanced back through the glass door I seen Freddie attack our giggling daughter with professor Floppsey. And as much as I hate to admit it, I had to glance back again to make sure Becky being there was really figure of my imagination or not.

333

Carly who was now leaning on the door of the car came rushing towards me as I was a bout to break down.

"Not here you don't" she said guiding my to the car "You don't want Laila to see you,"

333

As we sat in yet another traffic Jam on the way home she noticed my ring less left finger as I wiped away my tears.

"He wanted it back for Becky" I replied hoarsely "It's been in his family a while" I added with a shrug.

"Sam I'm so sorry" she started, shaking her head "That's not a Freddie like thing to do" she said astonished.

"Carly," I sighed "Becky is lovely and loves Laila and Freddie, what more could he want, he gets the perfect wife, and Laila doesn't get an evil step mother" I shrugged

333

I sat in one of Freddie's old t-shirt's watching _Ugly Betty _with a tub of ice cream and two spoons...at least one in my mouth at all times. When the buzzer went of letting my now that Carly had arrived.

"Carly, _Ugly betty_ has already Started, and I think Detty may be on the Horizon" I exclaimed into the phone which was attached to the wall above me on the sofa, not giving Carly the chance to reply before buzzing her in and going back to watching _Ugly Betty,_ I didn't even drag my attention away for the TV screen when I heard Carly came in.

"Detty?" Asked a deep, velvety, voice obviously amused.

My attention was snapped away from my programme to be welcomed by a drenched Freddie and a sleeping Laila.

"Daniel and betty" I said flushing red

"So not going to happen" he commented moving awkwardly, readjusting his grip on Laila as she snored on his shoulder.

"She should be in bed" I stated annoyed; now her whole routine was gone.

"Oh for crying out loud Sam, she's asleep isn't she" he groaned "Besides what did you want me to do leave her alone, _with my mum_?" he gasped, trying to bring humour into the situation, which so wasn't happening.

"I did" I stated flatly "besides why didn't you just ring me to come to your place?" I questioned irritably

"Oh yea, like you'd have come" he snorted; _now I just wanted to smack his adorably dorky face. _

"Not the point" I said brushing his remark aside "The point is..." I started only to be interrupted by a sleeping Laila.

"Daddy, Momma, stop fighting I don't like it!" she mumbled before turning her head in the opposite direction. Me and Freddie shared a guilty glance before I placed my hand on her back.

"Is she wet too?" I questioned him

"My mum was there before I left, what do you think?" he smiled softly at me, I let a small laugh out of me before telling him to take her into her bedroom.

333

"She is all tucked up with Professor Floppsey" he laughed walking into the living room again; I gave him a meek smile trying to cover up I was crying. "Sam I'm here now, why are you crying?" he asked pulling my into his drenched chest but it didn't bother me.

"We hurt her anyway didn't we?" I sobbed in to his chest adding to the dampness.

"Yeah we did" he nodded his head in agreement with me "But we can also make it better for her" he smiled pulling back and brushing my fringe back.

"What about Becky?" I whispered

"She was the one who told my mum to convince me to run after you" he stated warmly, once again slowly, inching his mouth towards mine. When I couldn't wait any longer I pushed my lips against his, running my hands through his hair, I felt him laugh into the kiss before slowly moving his lips against mine and changing the position of our lips so he could nibble my bottom lip. As my mouth slowly opened and are tongues meet one again, I felt him grab my left hand gently and slip something on to a very important finger.

"Sam Puckett, Will you marry me?" He asked into my mouth, I nodded my head eagerly, not parting our lips, and kissing him with as much felling as I could possibly muster; showing him how much I missed him, how much I love him, and how much I need him.

As I backed away biting my lip and slowly let my eyes flutter open, Freddie was wearing the Goofy grin I wanted him to wear earlier today.

"Your need to get changed" I whispered as he leaned his forehead against mine, "There are some of your old close in my bedroom, right hand side of the closet."

He looked at me with a raised eyebrow.

"I like to sleep in your t-shirts so I may have stolen a few before we left." I shrugged as if it was the most normal thing ever.

"Like this one?" He asked mischievously, as he ran his hand under thin t-shirt and up my thigh.

"Yep, My personal favourite" I smiled running my hands under his shirt and across his abs, pulling it over his head.

"You know, I think it would look better in your room." He smiled running his hand down my thigh again. "Preferable the floor" he breathed, I backed away giving him a scrutinizing look.

"That was so cheesy there are now words Benson!" I stated crossing my arms.

"Whatever felt right, Benson-to-be" he shrugged it off, before lifting me up bridal style, earning a shriek from me and leading me towards my bedroom.

333

I groaned as I stretched out any of the sleep remaining in my body and turned around expecting to roll on to Freddie's chest only to find his space empty, causing me to bolt up right.

"I'm out here" called Freddie softly, I let out the breath I didn't realise I was holding in and reached over for my t-shirt, which evidently did indeed end up on the floor, pulling it over my head and getting out of my bed.

"You were right" I smiled as I wrapped my arms around his torso when I found him looking fondly in at Laila's sleeping form. "It did look better on the floor."

"And you call me cheesy?" he asked glancing back at me as I rested my head on his shoulder and traced the ring resting on my left finger. I rolled my eyes sticking my tongue out at him.

"You're phone rang that's why I'm up so early, she shouldn't ring people so early," he stated turning around and placing a soft, chaste kiss on my lips.

"No, she shouldn't" I agreed Half heartedly as he brushed a stray fringe out of my eyes, before turning in the direction of the kitchen.

"Breakfast?" he called

"Hell yeah!" I called "I'll just wake Laila!" I finished.

333

As I opened Laila's curtains I hear my phone, which Freddie had previously handed me, vibrate, I opened the message from Carly.

_I'm sorry I couldn't make it last night, _

_But from the sound of the voice who answered your phone this morning your not!_

_P.S. I call maid of honour. _

_CarlyXxXx_

**A/N:** well what did you think, were you confused? Please tell me though a review, PLEASE!


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